Old-Skool

Here's the old-skool (not really) song, "LONELY" - Teleported me back to the time when Akon found his fame - Helium-y FTW! oh and how i miss those innocent fun times back in school and even before that... read a couple of "jc-going" peoples' blogs and i realised how much laughter and joy i missed/lost. oh my, i wanna spend so much more time with all these friends... all the love, i... am deprived...

AKON - LONELY

Lonely im Mr. Lonely,
I have nobody,
For my owwnnn
Im so Lonely, im Mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
for my owwnnn
Im so Lonely,

Yo, this one here goes out to all my players out there man.
ya kno that got that one good girl dog thats always been
there man like took all the bullshit then one day she cant
take it no more and decides to leave

yeah, I woke up in the middle of the night,
And I noticed my girl wasn't by my side,
Coulda sworn I was dreamin,
For her I was feinin,
So I had ta take a little ride,
Back tracking on these few years,
Tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad,
Cuz ever since my girl left me,
My whole life came crashin and I'm so....

Lonely (so lonely),
Im Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
For my own (to call my own girl).

Cant belive I had a girl like you,
and I just let you walk right outta my life,
after all I put u thru
u still stuck around and stayed by my side (by my side)
what really hurt me is I broke ur heart,
baby you a good girl and I had no right,
I really wanna make things right,
cuz without u in my life girl
im so..

Lonely (so lonely)... ...

Update.

i just realised how the tables can be turned on you. it's so swift, and the next thing u know, u're submitting to fate. the devil inside you (or me) tells you that you have to seize back the upper hand. you're so much more experienced in these things compared to the little beings out there. so why can't you do it?

BUT i can't do it.

i don't know what i did (or didn't do), because everything is not as well as it seems now. i'm a little slow now, i'm a little slower now.

oh and people really can act. it's so obvious, but what can i do about it?

GOAL Setting!!

i've conquered Taiwan, and now i'm going to conquer BMTC!!!

Fear..

today brought fear inside me. today told me i'm secretly scared, scared of something i should cherish instead. today pushed me closer to that fear, a force that's impossible to counter...

writing this post made me think about the previous one. i know it's so stupid of me, but i saw a familiar face inside a common car today. the number on the license plate of that car is so acquainted to me. it's a number that i will remember even if i lose my memory. i felt excited. well, actually, everytime i see a license plate that has almost the same digits i will pay closer attention. things like this tell me i'm silly. but i don't seem to stop doing or feeling what i do. but i can conclude that whatever happens, the exodus of memories in and around my current neighbourhood will never happen...


i dunno why but i crave for a doughnut...

Oh Adolescence...

As I went home in bus 153 today after meeting up with some friends, i felt introspective. i started to reminisce. i remember during a trying period (not due to study pressure) from mid april till As last year, i would often study in my school library till late. Although i know it's impossible, whenever i go home after that, i'll always carry the feeling of hope and anticipation, that in the bus home i'll bump into her. i always had this impulse to look around the whole bus in disguise just to hope that i'll see her face. i'll pretend to look for a seat. But again and again i'll be disappointed. dispirited. but the next day i'll carry on the same old routine if i take the bus home, although at the back of my head i knew chances were extremely slim.

Today, while in the bus going the same old route home, i felt the same impulse again. However, instead of disappointment, i felt happy instead. i let out a coy smile, hoping no one ill see that silly side of me. i got to re-live my memories and i felt happy and silly simultaneously; happy 'cos i could relive the innocent days i once had. silly 'cos after so long i still possess this silly habit, which i didn't know i still possess. well, i don't think i still miss her, but it's through these experiences that sparks off my thoughts of what could have been...

Then again, didn't i say that this mistake is something that i will regret for the rest of my life? ain't it true, so true...

oh adolescence...

photos

*Rule Of Thumb

i'm suddenly enlightened by myself, so i have to write this down to remind myself...

not all questions out there are meant to be answered; not all questions out there must be answered.

happiness comes with peace.
peace cannot come with complexity.
complexity is subjective.
so remember this, shijie.

apathy

apathy. me.
i don't see any news worth reading nowadays. are news getting more and more superficial, or are things getting more and more incomprehensible to me?

people are hotly debating about the Sepp Blatter's "football slave" comment. i don't get it at all. what's there to debate about? i don't see the seriousness of this stupid comment. i can't believe the back pages of newspapers these days are all filled with this single debate. i dont understand at all but the thing is how could i not understand sports news, especially soccer.

in politics, prices are going up everywhere and people who voiced out on this got charged... oh like i care...

i love music. singfest coming soon... so?

national day is coming. (yawns)

yay. do i even care about anything? heys, maybe i don't see the seriousness in life anymore.
just hope my share price goes up. lol. superficial me...

Nights, Shining Bright

Nights, Shining Bright

saturday nights have been preettty fun with these people around.

"when you laugh, laugh heartily". i can't. i don't know why. i've been evaluating myself these days. slowly but surely i'm finding out more about myself. i think i'm not as good a person i want myself to be. why why???

ns is the best time to do some self evaluation. sometimes after some heated-up or even light, casual debates or squabbles, i make myself out to be quite extreme in some of my personality traits. oh dammit...

but but but, life has been good to me. friends. party. fun. so why give them a lousy me? slowly i'm changing, or i'm trying to. i don't know if people living with me can sense it, but those short-falls? i'm trying to shed ALL of them. 'cos no matter what good i have in me, they won't be enough for me. someone somewhere out there will want more than that. you know?

the theory of the anti-thesis

you know when you say that "someone walked into your life", have you ever thought that it was actually YOU who walked into theirs instead?

a long long time ago when i was still a coy boy in JC, i always told myself i'mma 'study boy', i'mma 'study boy'... i shun from crowds to go to the library, to bury myself in scores of words and numbers, and when the time came to socialise, i anti-socialised instead. welllll, my understanding of socialising is wayyyyy much more proactive than what i was doing in JC. and anti-socialising is to be one of the things i regret in life most.

In CJC there were many many girls, fantastic ones, average ones. but to me i'mma 'study boy' who could only mingle with the ones belonging to the latter group. i told myself, all the people i meet are beautiful people with beautiful minds, beautiful characters. and it's true! no two ways about it. but it's this very truth that carried me to the life i've now. which i don't hate. but which i don't love either.

I have a friend in the army who told me that "we guys conform to social norms when we're outside with the girls, but deep down inside, we guys actually really want pretty girl friends". this is so sensitive with the girls that we're only saying this when we're in the army! 'cos we risk our own reputation if we ever say this outside. SUPERFICIAL. that's what we are, or what we will be deemed as. this is the SARS of society. everybody shuns this "i'm looking for a pretty partner" speech. and after much thinking, i decided to break out of this, and i'm going to say it, "I'M LOOKING FOR A PRETTY PARTNER".

A quick browse through the book "Looks: Why They Matter More Than You Ever Imagined" by Gordon Patzer enlightens me. Even less attractive babies get less attention from their mothers. This post is not about the book, but the book explains most things in this post. why do people need to conform to societal stranglehold? you just mould yourself into what society wants you to be. i'm not trying to change things, nor change mindsets. i just feel strongly to how my life have panned out.

i just want to quickly get out of army and start my university life... this is getting too superficial, my life.

this is how we do it.

:) <3


for pictures individually, go to http://www.dropshots.com/lshijie

this is how we have fun - indulging in friends' company

hello blog

what a long time since i last blogged.

i really wanted to change my blogskin but super lazy to do now since it's so troublesome...




anyway i've set up a new chatbox so, tag me to let me know you miss me! hahaha.

happy new year

happy new year. =)

have a blessed new year ahead.