you know when you say that "someone walked into your life", have you ever thought that it was actually YOU who walked into theirs instead?
a long long time ago when i was still a coy boy in JC, i always told myself i'mma 'study boy', i'mma 'study boy'... i shun from crowds to go to the library, to bury myself in scores of words and numbers, and when the time came to socialise, i anti-socialised instead. welllll, my understanding of socialising is wayyyyy much more proactive than what i was doing in JC. and anti-socialising is to be one of the things i regret in life most.
In CJC there were many many girls, fantastic ones, average ones. but to me i'mma 'study boy' who could only mingle with the ones belonging to the latter group. i told myself, all the people i meet are beautiful people with beautiful minds, beautiful characters. and it's true! no two ways about it. but it's this very truth that carried me to the life i've now. which i don't hate. but which i don't love either.
I have a friend in the army who told me that "we guys conform to social norms when we're outside with the girls, but deep down inside, we guys actually really want pretty girl friends". this is so sensitive with the girls that we're only saying this when we're in the army! 'cos we risk our own reputation if we ever say this outside. SUPERFICIAL. that's what we are, or what we will be deemed as. this is the SARS of society. everybody shuns this "i'm looking for a pretty partner" speech. and after much thinking, i decided to break out of this, and i'm going to say it, "I'M LOOKING FOR A PRETTY PARTNER".
A quick browse through the book "
Looks: Why They Matter More Than You Ever Imagined" by Gordon Patzer enlightens me. Even less attractive babies get less attention from their mothers. This post is not about the book, but the book explains most things in this post. why do people need to conform to societal stranglehold? you just mould yourself into what society wants you to be. i'm not trying to change things, nor change mindsets. i just feel strongly to how my life have panned out.
i just want to quickly get out of army and start my university life... this is getting too superficial, my life.
