where can i go from here?

So, the results are finally out.. my results arent desirable.. i just cant bear the thought of me retaining or going poly, wasting a whole year and a lump sum of money spent on tuition and materials by my parents. I WANNA TAKE SUB PAPER! if only i'm given a chance. as darren said,"i promise to be a full-time mugger if i am given a chance!!! 100% guarantee plus chop!" the guarantee thing dunno heard from where want. if its ur patent come claim ur acknowledgement from me.

i dun wan to be in the sorrowful state i witnessed in school. but my emotions overwhelmed me.. what can i do? esther dont like tell me that you saw la.. i wanna preserve whatever dignity that's left inside me ma. hah.
augustine was a strong emotional support for me - he even agreed to lend me the math prelim papers IF i can take sub paper - and i appreciate. thanks.
hong was kind enough to give me a day's grace to surrender the $15 for bbq to him. but come to think of it, do i still have the mood to party?? all i can think of now is "GOD, please give me a chance to take sub. i'm not even praying to be promoted, just praying that i'm given a second chance." maybe during night cycle (if i go that is, afterall i paid), i could like just turn my head up left right and let the ghosts harrass me and that'll still be what i'm thinking of. truly, not able to promote is the mental harrassment of the highest degree, to me that is.

i know SOME people reading this will think i'm whining too much, like "nvm lor. cannot promote go poly lor. must be realistic ma. plan for the future alrdy.." i say fuck off. I'VE GOT MY OWN REASONS FOR BEING SO FREAKIN' DESPERATE!

i would like to thank all in 1t25 including the teachers for a wonderful year. thanks also to iggy for temporarily luring me away from my wretched thoughts of retaining. dunno what you did? just remember pw meeting. a tribute to you all: THANKS.

all i want now is another chance....