aims? yea i have them. heck i have dreams too; some really nice ones, and some really lame ones. i've many things i wanna accomplish. the highest priority at the moment is of course to score well in the up-coming mid year exams, like 4 Bs? but it's like do i even have a choice. this is not really an aim, this is a must-do. because there's no way i can accept dropping out of school in the middle of this year. i'd rather be dead then...

then there's bowling. the school nationals is gonna be over, but there is one day left. there's not much chance to achieve my 'gei-kiang' aim of 180 average now, but i aim of a 165 average now.. thursday thursday! after nationals it's the dream of being cjc's bowling president. it sounds so far-fetched in my case, but aren't dreams always so far-fetched in the first place?

then there are some of my deepest dreams that i have. for one, it is to be someone that somebody can or will look up to. but so far, i dont see any qualities in me that deserves that honor. though i always thought in the past that i wld go for leadership training camp this year, somehow or rather this chance slipped from my hands. i hate to say but it's all because i'm not the 'best' male j1 bowler this year. thus, i've let slip of something that could at least nurture me to reach my aim.

good gracious me. thinking back, i think this is lame. there are sometimes i'd dream of having a perfect family. a really perfect family, for example a rich and happy family with really fun, adorable and respectful siblings (i being the eldest) and parents that are like your friends, living in a beautiful home and house (just a freehold designer terrace with a nice garden with a pond) with sparingly some fun lil squabbles. however, all these are only but a fairy tale.

come to think of the previous para, i now know why sometimes, subconsciously, i'll get jealous when i see families having a great time out.

and i have always dreamt for some real & close friends that i will never lose contact with and that i will always seek for advice and a listening ear when i'm troubled. currently if i'm troubled i'll find some random ppl if i think that that someone is trustworthy. aye..

now about my aims. i really really aimed to be the top of anything and everything i do. but somehow not 1 have been realised yet. yea i've written a post entirely on this before, so i'm not gonna elaborate.

and then i've always aimed to be rich. how nice it is to be. not like damn filthy rich, but rich enough to give myself and my family a good life in the future. but looking at the present, it's very hard to imagine myself sitting on a $1000 chair and shaking my legs.

i still have many other aims. but like the word suggests, they are all but just aims. reality ain't gonna be that rosy. reaching the aims ain't gonna be easy. maybe i'm just cut out to be someone ordinary, just like a grain of sand on the beach.