I wanna go to the beach and scream my lungs out

I wanna go to the beach and scream my lungs out.

I'm like salad, tossed and turned how the diner wants it, but anyhows, I'm still gonna end up the same way. Or you can say I am struggling in this half-cooked, badly-made dish - unappealing.

I've made my own life as it is; it's not ruins, but close to be. Some people are naturally self-motivated for some unseen reasons. But I obviously don't belong in that group. I need a stimulus, a strong jolt to my brain, to wake me up and get me on my feet and running. I KNOW what is needed, listening to countless advices and gone through countless motivation speaking events. I know their stories. But ultimately, it's THEIR stories. I need my OWN story. Then again, this story ain't gonna be a fairytale. It ain't gonna be pleasant. I guess you know what I mean - the 'turning point' in one's life - or quite aptly, the saddest moment of one's life. But wait, did I say I need my own story? I'm cursing myself to push myself forward. How sad is that?

Home isn't as cozy as it used to be, school isn't as kind as it was said to be, and work is conspicuously absent. To underline it all, I feel more and more socially inapt, and that's all. That's all to my life. Sometimes, I feel like an empty shell. Have you felt that way? What is life when you've experienced nothing at all...

Do you wanna scream at the beach with me?