I'm Not Better Than You In Anything, But...

he could not believe what he just heard.

"you're not as rich as me. why should i even bother about you?". she delivered the killer blow straight to his heart.

silently, he was bleeding inside. he was all about her, he always envisioned them together.

"then, why did you even spent an ounce of time on me in the first damn place?"

"i don't know. don't ask me."

he could not take that for an answer. don't know? what don't know. however, he did not know how to answer that. after an awkward silence, he spoke up.

"i saw you looking into the camera. you were happy i was in something that you owned."

"what? you don't even look good in it. please look at yourself. i was actually laughing at you."

"well, looks like you're also better than me in looking for flaws."

"well, i'm also better than you in choosing what words to say, since you only realised it now." she retorted.

"are you insinuating that i'm dumb and naive?"

"well, no. but just not as smart and quick-thinking as me. tell me, how can i accept someone who's lousier than me in anything?"

his stare pierced through the air like a bullet. the tense atmosphere could slice a piece of steak. in another moment he took a deep breath, appearing to control his emotions. then he looked into her eyes, full of dignity, the look of someone wanting to pour his heart out. she turned around guiltily. "do you even know what you are saying?" his voice remaining calm, but firm.

"yes, you can say that, i'm not better than you in anything. because i've never wanted to be better than you in any way. i only wanted to be there for you, like a friend should. i want to love you because you too fall down at times, you too feel empty at times, you too feel lonely at times. i want to be the one that fills the void in you. i don't want to be a better version of you."

he moved a step closer to her. she remain rooted to her spot. naturally, he put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around. "i never wanted to hear these things from you. because i've always thought, you smile because you're happy, you say 'thank you' because you mean it, you hug me because you loved me." his softened, sincere voice impacted on her harder than the glare he gave her moments ago.

"who do you think you are?" she finally spoke again as she freed herself from his touch. "get real and stop being a romantic. why do you feel the need to say all these when i have already made clear my stand? you're not better than me in anything."

"ha! yes, yes. i'm not better than you in anything." he let out a sarcastic laugh.

"i'm not richer than you, but i still pay for most of our meals that i bothered to ask you out for. i'm not as good-looking as you, but i still managed to impress your best friends at all the parties and make you look good. i'm not as good as you with words, but at least i'm sincere whenever i repeat those three words. i'm not smarter or as quick-thinking as you, but i still managed to hold conversations with you... don't you realise that i am not what you want me to be, but what i want to be for you?"

her ears went red as he continued, "i want to be driving you home when i know you're tired and inconvenienced. i want to be buying clothes with you so that you won't be bored. i want to listen to you when you had a hard day at work. i want to be the one that picks up the pieces for you when your clumsiness gets you in trouble. i want to protect you if i can."

"i'm not better than you in anything, but... i'm still good enough for you, only if you can see it."